Life to live????

I wrote few blogs, but was not ready to release... may be laziness...

But last one week I was trying to finish this one...

I first met ashok @ a recruitment drive in 2008... he was new to the company, was in the panel... i also joined him in the panel with the same attitude of old employee... as always i was very lethargic in taking the i/v since I am a person who strongly believes that interviews are waste of time and not a right way to recruit right people... initially i thought he was technical guy, later understood that he is a CA and joined as functional consultant for an upcoming sub horizontal... Those who dont know ashok... lemme give some intro... he is short n sharp guy... he will be blunt in doing things. Since hez the first n only kid of his parents, he is such a high confident guy.... u cannot beat him in many things... bcoz whatever the case he will be logical n sensible... quite angry man in tellin the points upfront... cannot tolerate the attitude of being dumb (being dumb a necessary skill to survive in IT industry)... anything and everything should be completed ASAP and there should not be anything pending for the next day morning.... unless u r close to him... u will say that hez a person who hits you on face to make his point clear...

I think its enough about Ashok... why should i need to talk this much about this guy... all said if I say that he was crying on the phone with me... I am sure you dont believe me this. Thatz the power of life... it will make any hard man to break in to pieces... some of you know about it.. but lemme tell you why he cried on the phone... bcoz his 7 year old son was on the verge of death when we were talking on the phone before 2 weeks...

Aparajith... 7 yeras old.. is lean n not very tall kid... has all kind of mischievousness for his age... fast in doin things... frequently looses his temper... hez the first kid of Ashok born in 2004... he was brought up with all the pampering that a normal parents give for their first kid... I first met him in September'2010, when ashok's family landed in Macclesfield... the first question he asked was "wherez snow..." as his father told him about snow fall... i xplained him that it will come in the month of December... though the weather was pretty cold... he was not ready to wear the jacket... was getting shouts from his mother... ashok was xcited about all this... but being a man of perfection he was tryin to keep luggages preoperly at guest house...

Days started moving... aparajith started goin to school... his mother was not at all happy with the education pattent @ UK... was tellin that his learning capabilities reduced to an grear xtent... me and my wife were tried xplainin her that it is slow n steady approach... but still not happy... they all decided to go back to India by April'2011 so that Aparajith can start his education back... meantime more of ashoks' friends came on short trip... everyone were with aparajith... ashok planned lotz of short trips across UK... to fulfill the wishes of going out... after sometime ashoks' parents came to UK and they roamed around UK... finally in the month of april'2011 they all left to India... and that is the last time I saw Aparajith...

After a month of time. Ashok Alone came to UK to complete his project... Aparajith started goin to school... he got his friends back... he was njoyin his life... excpet he missed his father... but technology helped them to be in contact... they chatted in Skype... @ UK me n ashok went to shoppin (on every weekend) to get lotz of gifts for aparajith... we got around 20+ kgs of gift items n couriered them to India... the kid was very happy with those gifts...

One fine afternoon in the beginning of October'2011... I went ashok's room @ office... he was not normal... pretty nervous... I asked him whatz up... he was tellin that Aparajith was sick for past 2 days...as I always want others to feel better.. I told him that nothing to worry... may be weather change could caused... but things were not changing... within couple of days he was admitted in hospital... Ashok was becoming more nervous... Ashok was planning to go India once for good before deewali... he was getting updates from India which were not positive for him... mean to say... they were not encouraging... doctors were not able find why he is having fever and sick ness... he decided to pre pone his trip by a week... it was approved and he left to India on a sunday... all this time I was pretty nervous that nothing should happen to kid until ashok reaches India...

Ashok reached India.. till this time doctors were struggling to find the reason for the fever as all the testing were giving positive messages... but within a day of his arrival @ India doctors found that it is Rheumatic fever... Doctors told that it can be curable... but the kid should be given penicillin injection for next 15 years... I was on regular calls with Ashok to get the updates... Even his wife was confident as he is back and doctors also givin positve signs... I was stressing ashok to discharge his kid and take him to house for deewali... but whenever doctor was telling that he is alright within some time he will fall sick... doctors were not confident... but finally 3 days before deewali kid was discharged... i was asking ashok to celebrate deewali so that family will be out of all this worries... but being a man of perfection... he dont want as his elder son was not well. I called him the Deewali day... he was telling that fever was there and dont know what to do... as usual i was giving confidence to him... That weekend I was busy with something so I didnt call ashok...

On monday morning I got an update that Aparajith's health was getting bad... so he was sent to another major hospital... I called ashok... he was travelling in auto... voice was not encouraging... I can understand that he was getting scared... I was tryin to pass the positive messages to him...he was telling the his kid will be taken in to ICU since platelets counts were reducing... he broke in to tears in phone... U can manage n counsel whenever a woman cries... but it will be a challenge for you to manage whenever a man cries... I somewhat managed the situation... after closin his call... my brain started working faster... I need to recover this guy... he need people around him to boost his confidence... I called another common friend... asked him to go n meet ashok... I called my brother to check whether anything can be done from medical side as my sister in law is a doctor... being alwasys helpfull... he immediately reached out people... and found that the kid is being observed by one of the leading paediatrician of chennai... he was telling me that kid can be curable...

but next day was not good day for ashok... due to less platelets counts... kid had a blood transfusion... I was askin my offshore folks to be in touch with him... I decided to talk to my sister in law whoz a doctor... her friend is close friend of Ashoks' wife Radhika... but she was not giving any positive message to me... being a doctor she knows what was going there... she told that the boy was under ventilator...senior doctors are looking after him... i was gettin nervous... on wednesday i called ashok... his confidence level was goin down... as on tuesday Aparajith went in to Coma.. which he didnt even tell to his wife... my adrenal started workin at a high speed... i was gettin nervous... but i tried to give more confidence to him... within 3 hours I got call from my sister-in-law sayin that the boy is dead... my body started shivering.... again brain started sayin tht ashok needs someone around him... i called offshore n started tellin that bad news... unfortunately that day was the client visit... where the people in Video conference and the news was started spreading like fire... within an hour I got a call from another friend who said that the message was wrong.. the boy is alive...

I dont have the courage... but I gained confidence... called ashok... within few secs I broke in to tears n started cryin... ashok took upper hand n shouted at me... but next 2-3 mintues I became normal... ashok told that one of the doctor who saw the report told that boy will not survive... but need to take the MRI scan, for which the boy should be out of ventilator for more than 45 mins... he told that he was given options open for everything...I went to pooja room and prayed for that kid...now I started sayin sorry to all.. after some time my sister-in-law called me n told sorry... but she was telling that as per the doctors the chances for survival is remote... bcoz some dangerous virus went and sat on the heart and affecting the valves and it is affecting the blood flow to brain... So, chances for survival was very feeble though he survives he will not be normal as other kids..though part of this was told by ashok earlier... since my sister in law is a doctor... i started loosing confidence....

The full day I was nervous... night 7.30PM I got call fm ashok.. I was completely nervous... i called him back... it was normal call... he wanted to check how am I...he also told that doctors gave him options on the life of boy and he is open for all options... we spoke for 30mins... things were normal... but the boy was still under ventilator in a separate room in ICU... next day morning I got a message that the boy was fine over the night without further complications... it was giving some confidence to me... when I reached office i was given more confidence by gettin message like boy was taken to MRI scan... after that I was in to office work... by 4.45PM i got a call from a friend saying that ashok's son is declared brain dead... meantime I got a message from Ashok that "he is alive... but cannot be saved".. I decided not to cry... called ashok... now the ball was in his court... doctors told that Aparajith was brain dead... reason was blood flow to brain was stopped due to a clot...to remove that they need to give injection... but already the nerves were damaged so if they give the injection then the boy will immdtly die... So,if parents sign the papers, they can remove the ventilator and declare the boy as dead... the last word he told me was that he will sign the papers n take the son to home as dead... I think one of the most difficult signature that you ever think of making... declaring that I accept my son is dead (i dont know what was written in those forms)

Again I decided not to cry... i called our common friend...he was already on the way to hospital... i called other colleagues to reach hospital ASAP... within hour I got a call from our common friend that its almost over... ashok is pretty nervous...its matter of time... when hez going to sign the papers... i dont know what to do...after that i was in to some personal work... but mind was around ashok's family... no calls... updates from anyone... was awake till 12.30AM... but no updates... I dont have any guts to call ashok now... went to bed...

Morning saw few missed calls and voice mails... they were from my offshore counterpart... it was confirmed that the boy is dead... funeral is by afternoon...
I called my sister-in-law... she said that shez struck at hospital... i dont know what to do.... Something was tellin me that... this guy will pretend that he is strong... by not crying...called common friend... he was giving updates about the situation @ ashok's house... he also told that hez not cryin... I decided to fly to India to meet him...my wife was not clear... I told my friends that I flying to India to meet him... they are also not sure... Spoke to my brother... he was also not sure what to do...

2days later... I called Ashok... he was xplaining everything... i was pretty strong to receive all updates.... I told him that I am coming to India... He said dont come... I need to be strong enough to recover my family... he doesnt want to cry... he wants to keep his sadness with him... Real Ashok's attitude... I wanted him to cry... but took a deep breadh n decided not to fly... His family need to recover from this loss...

Sabharish... 4 years old boy... born in 2007...pretty active boy... trying to learn everything from his elder brother... from the car craziness to any games... was not very keen to go school... since his brother was going... he wants to compete with his brother... he went to school...roamed around UK with his brother when his family was in UK... for the past one month he was not sure whatz goin on around him... he frequently visiting hospitals to see his brother... he was happy since his father returned from abroad.. one fine morning he saw his brother was brought by people and kept in the middle of house and taken away... he was not sure what happened to his brother... he is askin his parents whether his brother still in hospital... they pretend that the brother is still in hospital and doctors are taking care of him... hez asking some logical question like in hospital whether his brother will be given proper food... when can he go n meet him... Poor Ashok n wife doesnt have any straight answer... bcoz the little one is the only hope for this parents... they dont want to tell him that his brother will never come...

I am sure this little one will slowly bring his parents back to normal... with all his child behaviours.. May be this boy will come to know from his friends, relatives that his brother will not come back... At that time... I really pray god that the kid should have courage to hear that news....

Live in Present...

Its been so long since I sat n wrote something... I felt I was tryin to point more negative sides (the money I lost, my FIL death, the way IT cos works).... Ofcourse we human are more interested in readin negative news(otherwise NON of media can surviive)...

So, was waiting for the moment to write abt positive happenings... Thanks to Praapti for givin tht moment...

It was satday, deepti is keen on visiting few sports centers to check the swimmin classes for Praapti... we visited couple of bigones.. i was bit nervous with the price strucuture (though i was not showin...), I let deepti to drive the entire show...

My brain was runnin behind the cost involved in it (phewww....sometimes I also worry abt money)... Deepti was more thinkin abt distnace... after all discussion v went to Pizzahut to eat... I wanted to do something different to divert myself fm money stuff... so kept praapti with me and was tryin to help her in eatin... she was pretty happy with the milkshakes, salads and ofcouse her favourite pizza... deepti was nervous by lookin at us, as I am not good enough in managin praapti, especially when she is eatin...still I kept tryin... It was goin good..

While eatin suddely Praapti's eyes saw the balloons of Pizza hut, which was kept there to give it to kids... After finishin the food... i took her near baloon... as a person of hesitance i was waiting for someone to come so that I can ask... but they were busy and I was blockin the way... As deepti is an xpert in these situations, I asked her to ask a baloon... she didnt bother of people... jus went near the stand and grabbed a baloon... No one said anything...

Praapti became the happiest kid after grabbin the baloon... as it was filled with helium... It was tryin to go upwards without control... but still it was with praapti's hand, I started gettin tensed... I opened the door... wind was heavy.... Immediately I started lookin at praapti n baloon... She was more happy with the wind and baloon.... My brain started thinkin... panickness surrounded me...

As it was very heavy wind and the baloon was filled with helium... If praapti misses it... it can fly at any direction and we were near the main junction... I dont want to see praapti loosin the baloon and gettin upset... With the tensed mood and dont want to show the tenstion to praapti... I asked praapti "could you plz hold the baloon tight.." she was not listenin... she was jus holdin it in the tip and was more happy by seein it flyin... I was gettin more nervous... "ammu, wind is heavy... U need to hold it tight"... didnt bother... still happy...

I feel being big and strong is always an advantage.... either it is in work or home... I started holdin her hands and tryin to tie the baloon on the wrist...thinkin tht she can also play and it wont fly... Praapti was not happy with it... She pulled her hands out of me and ran with the baloon towards the junction.... Thats it, my patience level gone... Adrenaline level increased to the max... as praapti was runnin towards junction and baloon might fly away...

I increased my voice... "ammuuuuu... would you plz listen to me... this not goin to be fun... I m here to help you.... U must tie the baloon around your wrist".... thtz all... all the energy that praapti was having were lost... she became quite and started starrin at me with angry mood.. I immediately said "sorry" to her... but she was not happy... immediately shouted at me... "appa.. wud u plz listen to me"(was tryin to repeat wht i said)... and started runnin with the baloon...

I became normal immediately... all this time deepti was jus observin the situation and now she was tryin to go behind praapti to take care of the baloon... I said leave it... deepti was not sure.... but as sincere wife to her hubby... asusual she listend to me.. we walked for nxt 10 mins... praapti was playin with the baloon by holdin it in the tip... we reached the car... v got in with the baloon... we left the place... praapti slept in the car with the baloon....

The reason why I stopped my shoutin/chasin was not bcoz of praapti becomin upset... but she was showin the real truth... "Live in the Present"... as kids they dont know what is future/past... they jus play, learn and have fun with the present... as per praapti, the moment she got the baloon she jus wanted to have fun with it... shez not worried whether it was filled with helium, whether outside weather is bad due to which it will fly away... But as a grownups we worry about future.... and do everything for the future and not njoyin the present moment... Though the baloon would have flown away due to wind... praapti would be upset for sometime and will be askin about it for next few hours... then she will become busy with the "present" things...

Its one week now... the baloon is still with us.... praapti is not bothered abt it, its another 100+ toy for her... as she got more things to do in the "present"... what a great message shez givin me..."Jus live in present" and njoy the life... I do understand we have responsibilities where we need to worry about future... but i feel we jus worry abt future and forgettin the present and not njoyin the present moment and ignoring the fun in the present moment...

I know this is what the lotz of personality development books and zen gurus are tellin... but I feel do we really need someone tell us??? as we are seein lotz of things happenin in front of us... Jus keep watchin the kids... I dont know what else praapti goin to teach me or deepti... But i decided to watch her activities......

Mythology say that Lord Murugan taught the meanin of "OM" to Lord Siva and called as "Thandhaiyudaiyan"( i dont know how to translate in english, i think a person who became teacher for father...not sure) But I feel everyone of our kids are teachin us lotz of lessons to us... we are mere ignorant or not ready to listen to them... Keep watchin them... U will see the differnce...

180 minutes....

Finally the day had came... deepti n me were pretty nervous... we never been in to that situation, atleast one will be there... it was another cold and cloudy day... i did complete my offshore calls with very short span of time... deepti is done with her kitchen works.... with daily struggles, the mornin drink, bathing and so called breakfast also over.... it was 8.40AM... we decided to leave the house.... we started walking slowly... jus kept on sayin only positive words and sentences.... slightly we made the situation normal and bit happy for us......

we reached the destination at 8.55AM... i was takin the pictures of that location for memory sake... we went in and deepti was tellin n typin the password and unlocked the door... there were lotz of rooms and in each room there were many kids.... i was slowly loosin my confidence level and deepti was becomin more dull.... being a husband i was givin the confidence from mouth.... a lady came and deepti said hai to her and introduced me... i was introducin me and she was in happy mood.... we kept the bags and jacket in one hanger... it was written as PRAAPTI PRASANNA.... i was thinkin that it should be PRAAPTI PRASANNADEEPTI... while thinkin, another lady came and introduced herself.... she took us to one room where all the kids were standing in a circle..... still i was not very sure how it will be.... but i have too... i looked deepti... she was in the verge of cryin....

IT WAS FIRST DAY FOR PRAAPTI at SCHOOL.... after 2 months of loooong discussions we decided to put her in school. though we thought it will be good for praapti as she will get lotz of friends... we didnt think from our perspective... we never let her alone... always deepti will be there for her... now we are in to a situation where praapti will be out of the house, without both of us for 3 hours, thatz 180 minutes.... oooppsssiiii... how shez goin to manage without us.. more than that how me n deepti goin to manage it....

at school... we decided to leave praapti in that room... till that moment she was happy in seein everything.... but that moment she also felt that something goin wrong over there.... she started lookin at us... one of the incharge took her from us and requested her to stand in the circle made by other kids... she was confused... lookin at us and rest of the kids.. we both left the room... deepti went to meet the incharge of the school... i was standin at a distnace, from where praapti cannot see but i can see her... she was still confused and searchin us around the places,poor baby dont know what to do with other kids.... one of the inchage took her in her laps and started singin songs with the kids... now i am not able see praapti's face... dont know what to do... suddenly tears started.... yeahhh... i m an emotional guy... can pretend that i dont cry (by hidin the tears)... but that day i was not able to control tears...

deepti was busy in talkin with the incharge of school and explainin her what are the words that praapti speaks, she wrote it in paper and gave it to them... wowww... what a thinking... shez damn good in all these stuff... we both decided to leave the school... i was lookin at the class room, praapti was still in the laps of the incharge.... slowly walkin towards the house... deepti was tellin me that she gave the mobile number to them so that they will call us incase of too much crying... i was tellin her that the mobile is at house, she told me to walk fast... we reached hosue and saw the mobile.... there were no missed calls.... we both didnt talk anything... house was very calm... no sound... the hall was full of toys.... we jumped n walked between the toys.... deepti brought breakfast and tea for both of us... we ate it without talkin... deepti asked whether she can call the school and ask them how praapti is doin.. i told her not to do so... we finished our breakfast... dont know what to do... it was just 9.30AM... we need to wait another 2hours and 30mins to meet praapti....

i started surfin the net to read papers... but not able to concentrate... started to think about all these days that i spent with praapti... the thursday when i saw her for the first time.... the second night of praapti at hospital where i was there to wake the nurse to help deepti for feedin...the first 100th day of praapti.... the first time she was tryin to turn upside down.... the first air travel for her... first trekin at yelagiri with her... the first time she was tryin to walk... the first unreasonalble cryin in the evenin times... oooopppssiii the time went very fast.... shez now 2 yrs 9 months.... came to present world... deepti started readin the book... she called her mom to get conoled, but her mom was busy with work... so she tried to console her by sayin somethin.... i was also respondin without any idea what i was talkin... complete mind was at school... thinkin what she will be doin....

it was just 10.15AM... i also started readin the book... got a call from offshore on a issue (one thing that will never stop....:-() now deepti again tried callin her mother... her mother became free now... hmmmm now deepti will be free from all worries for next 20mins to 30mins... i started readin the book... i was readin it like my semester exam specific book... nothin was gettin in to mind... started lookin outside thro' window.... nothin much interestin.... time was 11AM... deepti asked me to prepare tea... meanwhile she called my parents to tell about the first day at school... i also spoke to them.... asusual they were tellin its all nothin... my mother started tellin about her experience with us.... we started havin tea.... deepti asked me whether did we take wrong decision by sendin her school now itself... but i was sayin that at anypoint she needs to go school... let it be now...

meanwhile i got a call from offshore... some meetin need to happen... they want me to join the bridge.... it was 11.30AM....we both decided to leave house at 11.40AM.... i joined the meetin over phone.... durin the discussion we both left the house... it was pretty cold outside.... the discussion went in depth.... we reached the school... i asked deepti to get in to school and i stayed outside due to the call.... bein in the call, was lookin in to school... except praapti everyone else were comin... finally praapti came with deepti... she was comin with a big smile (her special) and runnin towards me.... i was still in the call.... i hold her hands and started walkin slowly... deepti was askin/tellin somethin to praapti and she was respondin to it... finally the call got over.... immediately i lifted praapti and asked how was the school... she was tellin "its good appakutty"... deepti was tellin that praapti didnt cry as per the incharge... but by seein her eyes it seems she would have cried.... but still she was happy at school and njoyed bein there....

our biggest worry was gone, first 180 minutes without praapti (especially for deepti) went on with lotz of struggles for both of us, soon deepti will used to be.... our babies are good at managing the situation... if you tell them how to. On the way to house, as told by deepti's mom we got chocklate for praapti... she was more happy now... we reached home... the first thing i was tellin deepti was... SHEZ NOT LIKE HER FATHER, WHO USED TO CRY A LOT TO GO TO SCHOOL.... immediately after that i sent SMS to all my brothers n close relatives....

Though on the forthcomin days... praapti cries a little at school i gained lotz of confidence on her and i am sure that she will be alright in school in upcomin days... was tellin same to deepti n consolin her (one good thing that i do with everone in the world) :-)

What will happen (contd..)...????

Last week i was getting mixed response on the earlier blog. But i was quite happy bcoz the main purpose started writing the blog is to tell my views. I use this blogger as a mirror and Prasanna is talking to himself (yeahhhh hoooo... the reason behind the name of my blog.... :-))

Comin back to the point where i stopped....

Process is a good word that can be used for any of the work that you do. If anything that needs to be repeated, then people will say "lets have a 'PROCESS' here, to make sure that we are not making any mistakes". It is well implemented manufacturing industries with the help of various tool/methods (six sigma/kaizen method). If you had read Jack welch's biography, then you can really feel how important a process for an organization (for those who dont know Jack, hez the person who was giving the new face for GE, was CEO for GE for about 2 decades).

Now coming to process in our industries. All the companies are having a tool to make sure that all the project management related activities are tracked. These are developed by set of really good people who are expert in process of software world.But when it comes to day to day implementation, our delivery specific managers simply delegates it to the team. So, it will be on the hands of team member who is really doing the development. Look at this, a process which is created by set of experts, is being directly used by developers. Now tell me what will happen here. Whether he will work on the development or work on the process. Why the managers/leads are not ready to understand these process and try to explain to the team memebers how exactly they can be used.

On the other hand, the team who are in charge for ensuring the quality will get in to the delivery to review the activities/deliveries, to check whether the projects are as per milestones defined. These people (another team member of other project :-)) dont know much about the requirements, developments, so they will have defined static questions/checkpoints. Like if a document is having the proper formatting, whether a document is as per the standards.If it is there then the project will be considered as a project that adheres the process.

I am not sure how this helps in meeting the business requirement. To my understanding all the technical members work for 2 set of people. One is the external business and other one is internal business (process team).

All the technical team members are recruited for technical work, the leads are recruited for technical and process work, and the managers are recruited for process and delivery work. Actually some of the managers are recruited bcoz they have PMP certification. But end of the day, leads and managers delegates everything to team members, who are mostly doesnt have the resistance and doesnt say NO. Bcoz all these team members are mostly toppers in their college and school days. These toppers have a simple attitude, that whatever they do is correct, bcoz they studied and wrote exams, and as per the exam results they are the toppers.Companies recruiting them bcoz they are toppers. So, when a task(s) assigned to them they will think that they can complete the task(s) without issues. But in reality they cannot perform it considering the real work involved in it ( i mean to say perform the development and perform the process work). Slowly they will start to compare their friends, they may be doing good in some companies which leads them to think that they are overloaded in this company. Now another victim is getting ready for the hopping of jobs :-)

I understand what is your question here. What i am trying to say here.....

My point is simple, let the people do their work!!! Dont delegate anything and everything. Everyone is being paid for the work that they are expected to perform.Have a simple processes in place (which can be inducted in to your big orgranizational level process defined by experts). Define that process (eg: perform review for each delivery, perform testing on each delivery with a senior person of the team), train the team for these processes, implement the processes, review the processes periodically, enhance/change the process based on the situation.

But Most of the deliveries are not happening like this, so each project has one or two person(s) who are burning their midnight oil for the successful delivery. Bcoz the system will be ready to share the success of anything, but if it is a failure then there can be only one person to receive it at the end :-) :-)

Meanwhile on the delivery that i was working, the UAT was successful with just 2 defects.

Hey look at this, even i am not good in testing, i still missed something during my testing:-) :-)

So, what do you say??? Now read my blog's title!!!!

What will happen...

Time was 1.30AM, it was sunday. some tamil song was goin on my ipod. next to me, my sleeping baby's face was glowin on the laptop light, my wife slightly turned and told for 5th time, "Sojho praachu...." and again slept.

I was goin through line by by line on the screen, tryin to match the data in the screen.found 24th mismatch in the data. my temperament was goin down. but drunk water and continued the work.after half an hour, i had completed the work. so for found 29 issues.i was totaly upset with that.

I was testing the reports that were supposed to be delivered to business on monday for a User acceptance testing. Due to heavy work pressure, i was not able to review it during the weekdays. But i dont want to deliver it without reviewing it. Last time when the similar reports were given to business, they found similar issues and my business head called the reports as SHIT and told that they cannot use it.

I wrote the mail to the offshore team by listing the key issues and attached the defects, finally told in the mail saying "I was not happy with the way work was done".

Closed the laptop, stopped the ipod and was trying to sleep. Asusual my brain was started thinking.

Why these people are not able to identify the defects on the work that they do? Dont they perform any testing on the work that they do? When any project plan is done why we provide efforts for the testing (different forms of testing)? does the person who develops something really understood what he is doing?? and so on....

I am sure whoever working in the software world has these questions. Do we really worry about the answers.

I do accept that everybody is human and we are all prone to make mistakes. But we are human who must learn from the mistakes. If a person commits a same mistake for third time, what can be done??? In reality if a person writes a program, he cannot find all the defects in his program. It is due to human psychology when a person does something he will say/see that everything is correct. It is necessary that a person work needs to be reviewed/tested by other person. Basically we are all good in finding defects on others. But when it comes for job, then the review/testing needs to be more productive from delivery perspective.

My question here is, why people are reluctant on performing the review/testing? The present trend of the software industry is more to do with delegation than getting committed to the work. If a manager is responsible for a delivery of a project, he delegates it to his team member who could be a Lead for set of deliveries. In turn he is delivering it to another member of the team, who is actually performing the activity. Now we are in the situation where a person who develops the program need to review and test the code. Now tell me how can you deliver a program without defects. Why the people who delegates the work, are not interested in knowing that whether the work is completed as expected or not. What the person is doing after delegating it? If he delegates all his work then what for is he being paid?

If you see the software industries nature, no one will have work for all the 12 months. Max of 3-4 months in a year they will have work to do. This 3-4 months also spreaded across the year, which means in the month of february you will have 2-3 weeks of stressful work, after that you might get work only in May month :-) Dont say that it is not like that. Show me one project in the software industry which has the work for continuos 6 months :-) But people are not ready to perform their job even for these 3-4 months.

I feel that this industry made the people to think that whether a person works or not, he will be getting the salary by month end. Also year end appraisal he will get the average or above average rating, so persons' bonus wont affect much. If you continue in the system for 4-5 years (if one at onsite then the years will be 5-6 years), without adding much value, organization will work on moving that person to next level (u can call it as promotion). If nothing works for a person he will jump to next company with 10-50% hike. So, the purpose of getting job is done (getting money), without doing much.

You can ask me one question, even though these many issues are there, still India is hot market for offshoring. how can it be? The answer is, when a proposal submitted to a business, it will be reviewed/re framed for atleat 50 times by 52 people. So, the chance of mistakes on those deliveries are very meagre. So, all companies get the project. When these projects moved in to delivery perspective, there starts the issue.

Now again you will say that, there is a PROCESS SYSTEM for each organization to take care of these deliveries..... what they really do???

hmmmmm... better i will stop here and will write the rest in my next blog....

Sunrise/Set that i didnt capture....

It was evening time, its january month... i was standing there... was surrounded by lotz of people... i dont have any clue whatz goin on and dont know what to do...

some one called me and i went near...suddenly other one shouted "Nei... dhamadh hei na... (something.. something in hindi)" i didnt understand that... everyone around me was very calm.. couple of guys who were arrangin the things were speakin in hindi and my wife's relatives were respondin to them... i was watchin at my brother-in-law... he was following whatever the pandit was tellin...

after few mins... my brother-in-law was asked to put the fire on the woods and asked to pour the ghee... slowly the fire started spreading across the woods... the guys who were arranging the things were helpin my brother in law in pourin the ghee across the woods...people around me were talkin in hindi and i didnt have any clue what they talk... someone was sayin "Ghaggi beta ithar aavooo"... i saw my brother-in-law was moving towards a direction and now the fire was spreadin fast and furious.... i followed my brother-in-law... they were talkin in hindi...I stood there for few mins...but no idea whatz the discussion about... so i decided to move towards the corner of that place, where still some more relatives of my wife were standing near the fire...

i was lookin at the fire...i was not sure what to do.... so just turned on otherside... one of my favourite thing was happenin there... The SUN was glowing in orange colour and slowly fallin on the west side and there were no clouds to cover it.... it was looking awesome in the round shape... i love the sunset/rise, wherever i saw it, i will stop doing other things and will capture that using my camera/mobile... So, without any conciousness my hands moved towards my mobile phone to capture it... but i was forced to stop it.... bcoz... i was at the creamation ground where my wife's father was being creamated....

Now i dont know what to do... i was searching for my brother-in-law... he was sittin in a hall and the pandit was tellin something in hindi... was able to recognize my wifes' house address and name of her father, other than that no clue..later my wife's aunts' husband took my brother-in-law out of that small hall...where they stood with other close relatives in line... i presume it was a ritual to thank the people who came for the cremation... after few mins... it was only wife's relatives around me and were speakin in hindi... my brother-in-law was moving towards the fire and i followed him... we were standing there for sometime and someone came and told something to my brother-in-law,so he left that place.... now again i am alone.... when i turned towards west side... The Sun was becomin more beautiful due to its colour... and on the other side 2 more families were coming for cremating their loved ones...

I was jus standin there by thinkin what will be the next...as no one was talkin to me... after few mins my brother-in-laws' friend came and told "Jijoo... mayank is leavin, you can join him"...i went to find my brother-in-law, he was walkin towards the entrance with his aunts' hubby. i followed him...we got in to a car.... my wife's aunt's hubby was talkin in hindi to rest of the people and they were respondin for it... again no clue whtz goin on... again my favourite thing was showin its face between the trees...i was starrin at it, became more red and more beautiful....dont know what to do... so jus closed the eyes....

2 days latter, it was morning 7AM, we were at the shores of river ganges...it was pretty cold... my brother-in-law was wearin jus dhoti..was wonderin how he manages the cold....2 kids came with 2 buckets.... its full of ashes... OOOOffffff... it was my wife's father who was alive 4 days ago... i was wonderin the nature and started thinking philosophically... people around me were talkin in hindi and i was havin no clue... so turned otherside...this time my favourite thing was happenin again... The Sun was slowly risin and was lookin pretty in orange colour behind lotz of mist... the reflection on the river was jus awesome... i heard people chantin gayathri mantra... i turned back, my brother-in-law was pourin the ashes on the water by standin in the water...

After pourin all the ashes, my brother-in-law came out of the water.. they all were talkin in hindi and slowly movin, i joined them... before leavin that place, once again i saw at the east side... the orange colour was fadin and the sun was becomin more bright...i saw the water... a layer was formed bcoz of the ashes and it was movin towards the east direction....

Jus a question came to my mind... Is this what all our life????